Monday 29 January 2007

Late Bloomer's Travel Chronicles, Part II

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7.30am: Luda and I had Breakfast at Tiffany's and I loved the whole ambiance of the place especially the Deep Blue Something fake leather seats on which I cushioned my tushie as i heartily attacked the food.I was knackered to say the least but on the way back to the hotel, Luda had a mad craving for a Milkshake and suggested that we hit Kelis' Milk Bar. Inwardly I knew it was his last attempt at getting a 'quick-fix' hook up as he had been devastatingly unsuccessful the previous night.And it was local common knowledge that at Kelis' you could get more than your fair share of milkshake. Infact it came in an impressive range of containers if you get my drift!
So I did not object as I myself needed some Sugar Coated Iced Tea to numb the nauseous beckonings of a hangover.
So, sure as day, Luda managed to secure himself a 'date' as I saw a Brazillian looking mamasita with a lovely tan gesturing to him, Call me sometime...infact, ANYTIME!" I knew she wouldn't last a night in his little black book...
So back at the 5star Hotel where T.I. and a host of other hiphop artists were staying, we got the Blue Carpet Treatment and were staying next door to Snoop Dog. He is definitely one lanky dude, more so in real life but he is cool.
First things first. I decided to hit the bubble bath before Luda even had the slightest notions of de-consecrating it, if you know what I mean...I locked the door behind me for good measure as he blacked out on his bed.
Ah! This was the life! All I wanted, I got at the snap of my fingers...Pass the Courvoisier, and am sure the Busta Rhymes look-a-like waiter would have licked my toes if I demanded it!
So, after a couple of hours of a much needed beauty sleep, I was awoken by Luda who had somehow locked himself out of our room. I was sure he had been chasing the housekeeping up and down the hotel coridoors when that happened. I knew him so well despite himself.
Anyway, tonight we had major plans to hit the A town for the second night and this time we had Omarion and 50cent as part of our
Entourage.
I was so feeling Omarion but he always seemed to have this long-legged super fly lass on tow. However, this did not deter me.In any case I was even more reeled in by the fact that he "kept high standards." Inwardly I longed for him to whisper to me, "She is fine too, but I want you..."
I would be totally taken!
So,I was day-dreaming about his chiselled out torso and me up against it....when my gal Mary J Blige hollered at my cell and asked,
"What's the 411?"
Apparently B(Beyonce) was unleashing her new debut album B'day at a cool new joint up town and 'everyone' was gonna be there.
I could hear the words of the song Dilemma by Kelly Rowland and Nelly chimming in the background...as I was now faced with my own little dilemma but after weighing the odds I decided to go for the better option: Omarion! Plus I wasn't particularly keen to watch B's writhing and high-pitched performances tonight.What I needed was some T.L.C...
So after much unheeded coaxing from Mary J Blige, she gave up and jokingly told me that I'm Going Down for dissing her tonight. But the thought of hooking up with Omarion was a high by itself!

to be continued...

Read Part I of the sequel Here

Off-the-cuff: Don't you just hate it when your computer decides to heat up and shut down on you? Made me re-write this whole post again because I forgot to save it.

Sunday 28 January 2007

Dedicated to 4X-ian class of 2002

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Jeez! Its been four damn good years since I graduated from high school and I must say, as I reminisce...that those were pretty darn good days,thanks to my classmates and some teachers who never ceased to amuse.

I remember our English teacher, who we all had a love-hate relationship with during the four years in that hole.
One day she steps into the classroom and quips, "There is an air in this class.(!)"
And everyone bursts out laughing, thinking that she was referring to the foul smelling atmosphere [courtesty of Sus the pus, Mad Mags and Gaks who had firmly secured their rightful place as the Professional Farters and Burpers a.k.a PFBs of our class... ]Little did we know we had just triggered an avalanche of misunderstandings... This was definately not one of those light moments we could laugh off...The T.A. was mad as a red hot poker and fumed out of class.The silence that descended the classroom after that scenario was as loud as murder.!
Then after a few, she comes back to class and tells us that we were very condescending individuals and that some of us(referring to the Back-Benchers, a.k.a BBs , particularly)...instilled unspoken fear in others... (blame it on the quarter system of school selection that made the monetary divide so obvious...)
So later, the class realises that this is her very complicated and psychologically gruelling approach of telling us that we are indeed the bitches of bitches for not answering the questions that she directs to the class in general...Drama, drama,drama!
So that was basically as ugly as it could get...English lessons were never the same again...not under such psychological duress...but we still got our A class average in the subject at the end of the day! (Kula hiyo!) FYI, clearly am still traumatised!
On a much lighter note, I loved Oral Literature times, esp. reading the book, "Looking for a Rain God." (Click on link for an oral narration of the short story: "Looking for a Rain God"!).

From whence we coined ourselves, "The Class of Wolofs" (...and many wolves in sheeps' clothing we were!) ...
And our catch phrase? "Your-self-o!"...in faked Pigin English....brutally directed towards anyone, all-in- unison,whenever they acted like an arse or just asked a "dumb" question... (there's something about mob psychology that boosts the confidence of cowards!)

Jeez!Memories...

Saturday 27 January 2007

Halloween Joke

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Overheard during preparation for a past Halloween Party.

Boy A: I haven't got a clue to what I should dress up as...Any ideas?

Boy B: Why don't you just come dressed in your pants alone and topless.

Boy A: The point being?...

Boy B: If anyones asks you, just say you are a pre-mature ejaculation that came in your pants!

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Quote of the Day:

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.



Thursday 25 January 2007

Late Bloomer's Travel Chronicles

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We were Pimping All Over The World with Ludacris and found ourselves seated next to the O’jays in the Love Train. Apparently the whole Jackson's famo was there too coz they were headed to Janet Jackson’s opening gig for her latest album the 20 Y.0. and I could tell that she was looking forward to it because she was acting So Excited! It was obvious that she was estatic because she was all nippy(no pun intended!) and snuggling next to her boo, Jermaine Dupri who had his I “Gotta Get it” look perfected…and kept on saying Damita Jo or my bad…was it “damn it Jo?”you know these miros have that deep lingo going on…so anyway…I spot Andre and Antwan “Big Boy” Patton of Outkast heading our way on the aisle…they were looking a bit Tipsy and J’kwon gave them a momentary disgusted look before he continued darting the hot Mexican chic sitted next to him…if only he knew she was Santana’s daughter Maria na kweli alikuwa under 18…he would have thought twice about throwing darts her way. So anyway…I think the pint got the best of Andre…and he happened to spill one of his drinks on Janet’s bossoms as he passed …I don’t know how but it just happened…so anyway the dudes had to apologize profusely…Andre kept on repeating…Am sorry Miss Jackson…so now am stuck with that song on my head even though right now am at Janet’s concert coz enyewe we decided to take a detour with Luda to Atlanta where Janet’s gig is happening. And anyway Luda was like..”ATL is my kinda “Area code” *bitches…so we had to stop over.
I saw Big Boi backstage , a bit sober now, as he was handing Janet some red Roses in apology for his mate's , Andre, misdemeanor in the train. I could tell that he was still feeling bad about the whole thing…esp. since Janet Jackson was still recovering from her world famous faux pas in the super Bowl performance with Justin Timberlake.Talk about the devil…I spotted Justin Timberlake at some corner katiang the same under -18 lale thinking that that “Senorita” vibe of his would work…Enyewe that lale was hot like Wow!? Mya was feeling a bit outshined by Santana’s daughter tonight...and if Buba Sparxx had seen her he would have definitely given her the Miss New Booty award…y lie!So moving forward…Janet was up onstage doing her thing and everything was running on smoothly to the t....!I brushed shoulders with all sorts of celebrities. Kanye West was sitted in his stunnas, and mind you it was dark, and next to him was a chic who just fitted the perfect definition of a Gold Digger…she looked a bit too old for his taste…lakini this is the High School Drop-out we are talking about…so I guess he is allowed!
Finally, Kelis is Here with Nas her hubby and she was feeling kinda Bossy. When Nas’eyes locked with J-zay’s (who also happened to be present)… J-zay just brushed the metaphorical ‘Dirt off his shoulder” and whispered something to his boo, Beyonce…who was apparently Fighting Temptation not to give akina Kelis one of her Nasty Girl look.Right about now Luda was craving some Southern Fried chicken and so we had to bail to the nearest KFC coz enyewe …I was feeling hungry too…plus the concert was getting boring…coz all Janet ever says is the word baby…and her dance routines have become sort of mundane these days lakini we had given her enough support for the night. Luda was so hungry and I heard him tell some chic,"Move Bitch, get out the way!"…I told him he needed to show a bit more of that "Southern Hospitality" but he retorted back that I was becoming a "Growing Pain."So anyway…after the KFC after sijui How Many Licks with Lil Kim who we had found there…we stepped out of the place and we had not really made up our minds on whether or not we wanted to go back to Janet’s Concert, when what’d ya know who shows up cruising in his Lamborghini?…Lil Jon came out holding some real Crunk Juice and invited us over to check out his new found Lover and Friend…(for the slow ones…he was referring to his Lamborghini!) It was Yellow, but I was really surprised to find that he was listening to a Coldplay CD! That was pretty surprising… considering this is Lil Jon we are talking about. So anyway he must have seen my perplexed look and changed the CD…and had us all Snapping Our Fingers to some sawa crunk tunes. While we were still there trying to get a timam plot for the rest of the night Mya showed up in her Mustang and told us that one of Janet’s dancers had Fallen vibaya and that they had stopped the concert momentarily…so now she was here to grab some fast food as well coz she was not a Sophisticated Lady!I told Mya that Lil Kim was there too stuffing her face coz she was sure she wasn’t gonna get fast food in jail. (Remember Lil Kim’s Case…she was currently appealing for leniency for Perjury.). So anyway, Mya and Lil Kim probably needed to reminisce on their Lady Marmalade days so we left that place and decided to hit the club for a Jump Off. As Lil John put it…lets Get Low…but the only thing that was low was his ride. We were all busy sipping some of that crunk juice he had stashed on the back seat and I can’t remember Cauz i got High…but surely…Afro-man was in the ride…or just some guy who had an uncanny resemblance to him. Anyway it was just me, Luda, Lil Jon and that Afro guy..in the ride.So we fika the hottest Club in town coz ati we had Lil’ Wayne was performing and I couldn’t help but wonder why everyone had the title Lil’ infront of their names these days.So we din't need to Stand Up there waiting in line coz heck, I was with Luda and the rest…so the bouncers let us step in. As we were checking in some white chic who looked like Fergie of the Black eyed peas telling her boo to Shut Up and the guy was like hunny… I Don’t Lie to you!
Men! Me and Luda were feeling too Woozy by this time but the pint kept on flowing our way courtesty of Lil Jon…dang that guy doesn’t ever get high or what?! I guess it’s just the grills he has in his mouth…maybe they dissolve the alcohol in his mouth before it hits his system. I was starting to think loosely .I had to go take a pee…
It was when I entered the ladies’ toilets that I realized that this joint was too popular with well known musicians…coz in there was Tboz and Chilli of T.L.C. bitching about some Scrubs and heck those Girls Talk! Tboz was like she would rather “Touch myself” than settle for a “Quickie”…at that point I stopped listening to their vibe coz enyewe…
Then guess who burges into the Ladies all Teary EyedMissy Elliot…and she brushed off some chic to the side and said, “Let Me Fix My Weave!” I could tell she had been involved in a fight recently…and I had missed it all! Anyway, so I entered one of the loos…it smelt so good in there and the floor work was exquisitely done that I was momentarily transfixed and forgot to close the door…so as am doing my biz…when Monica burged in on me!..we were both so embarrassed…but she backed off quickly and when I was done I found her outside and she told me, “Don’t take it Personal.” I was like it was my fault coz I had not closed the door. Tboz and Chilli were still there and now talking about some dude they were referring to as the Creep. God! that vibe was too interesting…I took my time washing my hands and straightening myself out, trying hard not to look like I was eaves-dropping.It was then Brandy ingiad the ladies' and just then Monica chucked from using the loo. Those two gals still had issues…I could tell, coz the tension in there was so thick, it was asphyxiating. So anyway they were trying act civil with each other but I heard Brandy utter, “The Boy (is still) Mine”, under her breathe. But Monica was So Gone…she had even forgotten to wash her hands after using the loo!(yuk!)
I was just finishing up when Pink entered the ladies…I knew I had to bail from there coz that gal…is one bundle of Trouble.! But the lale looked a bit bumped out and just dashed into one of the loos and I could tell from the sounds...(and smell) emanating from in there that things were not so good with her.This continued for like 5 gory minutes …the smell was enough to chase us away from there but she sounded like she was in major anguish and everyone’s had their eyes wide open and noses pinched shut! At one point I almost laughed but tried hard to stifle the laugh. So like another minute passed and then Pink chucks from the loo and to our surprise she screams… “LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!!” I had no words for her.I just chucked from there hoping that I was still smelling good.!

Sunday 21 January 2007

Just because you indicate...

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Just because you indicate doesn't mean you are heading in the right direction.Just because you want to make a move doesn't mean that it will work.You need well laid out plans and understanding of the consequences. _Justin Herald - Australian Motivational Speaker and Entrepreneur.

Ponder This...

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Illustration work- by Joan

Thursday 18 January 2007

My Mistakes

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Well as a young adult woman who is more or less hormone driven as her age would allow...I have to admit I have made a couple of mistakes when it comes to choosing the guys in my life and then today I stumbled onto this great piece of advice that I would like to share with all women who will be lucky enough to stumble upon my blog.

10 Mistakes Women Make With Men:

MISTAKE #1: Betting Your Love Life On His “Potential”

Do you know any women who want the man they're dating to behave differently? Of course you do.
And just like me, I'm sure you have friends who date guys who don't have much going for them or who don't treat them very well. Somehow these women always have an excuse for the guy's shortcomings.What's going on here? It's actually very simple.Women (and men) don't base their choices of men on how “nice” or “good” someone is to them day-to-day. Women choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.And guess what?Some women will continue to put up with a guy that doesn't treat them very well. Sometimes for months or years...But why in the world would a woman do that!?Well, to put it simply, they confuse the strong attraction they feel for the guy with a deeper “connection”. Women who do this are doomed to end up in failed relationships with the “wrong” guys.How do I know?Because I've seen it at least a hundred times...And because I've been this guy in the past myself. Thinking back on past dating and relationships I've had, I was selfish and didn't offer much. I'm amazed the women put up with me. But they did...all the while hoping that I would somehow change. The women I dated hoped I'd change.The only thing they saw in me that led them to want to keep me around was the “potential” they saw in me to share my feelings and communicate with them. The potential for something better and the potential for me to change and be a better lover, boyfriend, companion or whatever...The truth was, I was hopelessly bad at these things at the time.And more importantly, I wasn't even at a place in my life where I knew how to or was interested in developing a deep and committed relationship - with ANYONE. But deep down these women believed that if they tried hard enough, that it would make up for what was lacking. They believed that I could become someone else with them.... and that this would be easy for us both. Talk about a losing battle. It doesn't make a lot of “logical” sense... But until you accept that lots of women do this AND that YOU could be doing it on some level, you'll NEVER have the success with men that you choose and want.MISTAKE

#2: Assuming You “Get” Men & Their Psychology

Men are different from women. You need to accept this fact, and deal with it. When a woman sees a man, she can very quickly pick apart certain things about his style, body language, status and character that will tell her all kinds of things about him. Lots of women don't even consciously see that they do this because the process is so obvious and simple for them. But does the same apply for men?As you probably already know, men are generally more visual. As a result, they often don't understand non-verbal communication as well as women. And men often lack what women have in emotional awareness and “intuition”. Women don't seem to remember this about men.So do men feel sexually attracted to w0men based just on looks? Or is something else going on? Well, after studying this topic for years now, and talking to thousands of men and women, I can tell you that men have their “attraction mechanisms” triggered by things OTHER than looks. Especially when it comes to longer term relationships. Looks just happen to be the most obvious way... But looks are NOT the most powerful.If you know how to use your body language AND communication correctly, you can make men feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see that hot, great looking guy that you got to know. But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this. And ANY woman can learn how...

MISTAKE #3: Pretending To Be Something For A Man

In the desire to please a man, women are constantly doing things to get a man's attention, to get him to like them or to make him more attracted or in love with them. Another HORRIBLE idea. Lots of women mistakenly think that doing unusual things to try and get a guys attention will make him magically see what a great catch they are and want to be with them.Wrong.Men YOU TRULY WANT are never attracted to the types of women who kiss up to them, make weak plays for affection or complain to get what they want... EVER. Don't get me wrong here. Things like being sexy for a man or encouraging him to share his feelings can be good, but it has to be genuine, unselfish, and most of all timely. You don't have to act like an “easy” woman for men to like you, and you certainly don't have to play like he's some gift to the Earth. Doing these things actually works to subtly, at an subconscious level, lower your social status with a man, which has EVERYTHING to do with how he sees you as a woman.So if you think that making him more attracted to you means “playing to the man's fantasies” from the start, think again. You'll never succeed by looking for a man's approval, finding your way into his heart through sex and not being yourself.

MISTAKE #4: Sharing How You “Feel” Too Early With Him

Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most women make with men is sharing how they “feel” too early on.Listen...Attractive, single, successful men are rare. They get a LOT of attention from women. Most women don't realize this, but attractive men are being approached in one way or another all the time by women.And guess what?Attractive men have usually dated a lot of women.That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.They know what to expect.And one thing that turns an attractive men off and sends him running away faster than just about anything... It's a woman who starts saying “You know, I really, REALLY like you” after one or two dates. This signals to the man that you're just like one of those “clingy” stereotype women who want to rush into a relationship and can't control yourself from wanting a man to fulfill them and complete their lives. This does NOT spell ATTRACTION for a man.Don't do it. Lean back. Relax. There's a much better way...

MISTAKE #5: Misreading The Important “Signals” That Men Send

Men are constantly communicating how they feel about a woman and giving away big secrets about themselves. Most women don't pay attention to these signals or recognize them for what they really are.
The signals men send have 4 main levels:1) Social: Where the man is at in his own life - stability, confidence, direction
2) Emotional: Whether or not he's “emotionally available”
3) Physical: If he's attracted to you... and for what reasons
4) Love State: If he's open to building and growing a relationship in the future
The funny thing is that men send signals in these areas completely on accident. That's great news to women... Men can't help it! You need to learn to recognize these signals to get anywhere serious with a man.

MISTAKE #6: Relying On Your Natural Ability To Judge A Man's Character

People aren't easy to figure out. Especially men.
The last several years of my life I've spent hundreds of hours learning to understand people. I've studied peoples behavior, “inner psychology” and more specifically how they think and act when they're dating.From what I've seen, both men and women have their own secret ways of saying things. But you can only see these secret communications if you know what to look for. Women communicate with hints, body language, sarcasm, and flirting when they're first getting to know a man. They can either directly or indirectly let men know if they're open to something more serious. Men are different.Men generally communicate with sarcasm, humor, cockiness and other “indirect” displays of status. VERY RARELY will a man be able to honestly communicate to a woman whether or not he's ready or capable of developing a meaningful relationship. Aside from their sexual interests, men send very indirect signals about where they're at. If you don't know how to read through the signals men send, then you'll get the wrong message. Getting the wrong messages from men causes women more pain and heartache than any other issue around. You can avoid this pain if you learn to identify a good man from a bad one.

MISTAKE #7: Expecting A Relationship To Make You Happy

A mistake I've seen women make is thinking a guy will change her life and make her happy and fulfilled. And sure, there are situations and relationships where this happens. But those are the exceptions, not the rule. Nothing says “Run!” to a man faster than hearing or sensing that a woman immediately wants him to take care of her.And the men who ARE looking for this kind of situation aren't exactly the most healthy, loving, nurturing people out there. Think, “controlling, macho, or serious Mom Issues!”So let me be clear...I think it's important that people help fulfill each other in their lives, whether it's dating, a relationship, whatever. But if a woman communicates that she's looking for a guy to take care of her, complete her, make her whole, and all that kind of stuff - it has a VERY negative effect on what the man will think of her. It doesn't have to be spoken by the woman either...If a woman thinks or feels this way, the man will see it and pick up on it, regardless. This is arguably the worst thing a woman can do early on when dating a man.So what can you do as a woman?You can get the man interested and involved in your life in a more “natural” way, where he'll be motivated to make you care about your happiness and fulfillment on his own. This is the only way it really works for people - male or female. Self-motivation is much stronger than external motivation. But you have to know how to create this situation with a man... and it rarely happens by accident.

MISTAKE #8: Trying To “Convince” Him To Like You Or Love You

What do most women do when they meet a man that they REALLY like... but he's just not that interested or isn't as serious? Right! They try to “convince” the man to feel differently.
Well, I have news for you...YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A MAN “FEELS” WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION! Never, ever, ever. You cannot convince a man to feel differently about you with “logic and reasoning”. Think about it. If a man doesn't “feel it” for you, how in the world do you expect to change that by being “reasonable” with him?But we all do it. Men are the worst at this by the way. They're always complimenting women who don't like them and buying them gifts. Women like the behavior sometimes, but it NEVER makes the woman like the man. She might enjoy what she gets out of it, but it doesn't change the way she FEELS about him. When a man just isn't interested, women will try and chase, compliment, convince and do their best to change his mind with logical and rational approaches. Bad idea. Another one that will never work.

MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing What To Do In Each Type Of Situation

A man has a clear idea of what he wants from a woman...And I don't mean just sex.I know, it might be hard to believe, but if you're out on a date with a man, he already has an idea of what he wants from you. And if you don't know HOW to find this out, and you just sit there looking at him and flirting, or trying things you think will make him want you, he won't help! If you don't know what to do in each situation, you'll probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING.

MISTAKE #10: Not Getting Help

This is the biggest mistake of all.This mistake keeps women from EVER having the kind of success and finding the kind of man and relationship that they truly want. I know, you don't like to make yourself look weak or helpless. We don't like to ask for help. Hey, I've been there myself.

Procrastination

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Today I woke up in the morning feeling lethargic as always.I kept on pushing for five more minutes of sleep until finally my body felt sick of lying in bed.Now I have a million things to do and I haven't got a clue what to do first since its my only free day from work.This is the result of PROCRASTINATION,which has plagued me since time immemorial.So in 07 that's another one of my resolutions...to try and be free from procastination.Here is a simple image that I got from www.brainshrub.com that denotes procastination.I think it's spot on!



Wednesday 17 January 2007

My Fashion Odyssey

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For 2007,I want this to be a practical year for me and I want my sense of dress to be a sort of testament to this practicality and changing attitude.In particular am now yearning to go back to that Tomboyish look that dominated my early teen years.It seemed like a time that I was mostly comfortable in my "own skin".

So that granted,I have been out window-shopping for some simple funky size 8 t-shirts and raggedy type jeans,combat shorts and anything that will be in favour of me achieving my desired look.My mother used to buy me the best t-shirts she could find(some which have now been turned into mopping rags at digs...)and I now look to those days with fashion nostalgia.I miss my dolfin t-shirt..it was very surf-like.I also miss my bart simpson t-shirt which had a rude caption to it,which I will kindly not quote here!
 
But all in all,it is the year to be comfortable in my own skin, to have a charming austerity and most of all to be myself.To be confident in who I am and to radiate this quality to others around me.

 
So how do I go about this tom-boyish look while at the same time steering clear of the typical butchy dyke stereotype look? Coz I dont wanna chics hitting on me!That would definitely make me feel outta my tree!

Nipped In the Bud

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The sleep tonic fumes fade,
replaced now by a sharp ammoniac stench.
The banging headache threatens to give birth to another.
A jabbing left pain announces a broken rib or two,
Pins and needles shoot up her left leg ,
The right leg is wanting…

Paralysed.
Now jolted into reality by rapidly fading sensations…
Fear rises in her like a wave.
Her heart beats so hard that it threatens to leave a bruised mark on her chest.
She swallows her own fear of the inevitable,
Her main concern numbs every other .
She clutches the watch in her clammy hands.
His gold watch.
Its 6.25 as the morning light sips through the cracks of the tiny shanty,
That is her prison.
35 minutes to the inevitable sound of destruction,
A silent prayer is said…then murmurs of a lovers' song…
Their courting song.
Another prayer…3minutes left…

They skip like milliseconds.
Then the ugliest sound she has ever heard stings her ears,
And continues ringing in her ears for the next hour…
Their black and white love nipped in the bud,
While deep inside her grows a neutral being.


Of Recent Happenings

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Lately, one of my good friends lost a pal whom he had just been with 30 minutes before.It ached me when he told me what had transpired but the thing is, I wasn't there for him that instance that he needed a shoulder to cry on.I got enough offline messages pending on my pc and once I read his messages my thrill was turned into something else...not sadness in particular...maybe just empathy.Anyway to say the least, I am still waiting for my friend to contact me again and perharps I will be of some solace.
The whole tragedy got me thinking about the friends I have in my life.I think I have more online friends than I have real -life-physically-present-live-next-door kind of friends.It just happens that some of the people who know the real me have never actually met me physically!Blame it on technology and distance!And although they are 'cyber-friends' I do feel like I actually know them well enough too.There is something that prompts us to share the real 'us' with people who we have hardly met.Maybe its because we feel less vulnerable...when we spill our lifes' content, aches and pains to total strangers, because inertly we know that we wont have to be confronted by the same person the next day when we are more or less "together".
We feel the need to protect ourselves from other people's judgements...especially from those close to us.

Willpower and Drive

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Well, it's definately one of those days...My energy reserves are all sapped out by a manual dead-end job: that of POOP!and of all days...my blogging streak reawakens somewhere deep inside me mellowness and well, I simply can't resist it. Getting something interesting to talk about sometimes seems like a huge task so today I will go wherever the wind blows...
So about my dead-end job:aged care...I wouldn't wanna be caught dead doing this as a lifetime career...trust me the cons surpass the pros...right now all am thinking about aint even the money...just a list of things I gotta have once I'm paid...which is somewhere this week.My hands are itching to spend some hard earned cash...Shopping is one of my major stress relievers so to say I JUST CAN'T WAIT! That would be an understatement.A raw deal.
I have even jotted out a list of things I need and then prioritised them again and again...not sure now if getting an ipod before a new phone will make me happier or vice-versa...that now is my predicament!But you know what? Looking at the list, I am proud that I have set myself some goals which are definitely achievable and in the end of it...I will be broke and it will be back to square one but I will have these "trophies of achievement"....so now you understand why I say, I JUST CAN'T WAIT! to go shopping...
Money does make the world go round ...it does give one a sense of independence and there is nothing as liberating as having "purchasing power". Trust me I have spent many a day budgeting cent-wise, eating $1 noodles and basically being depressed about not having enough money to do the things I wanna do...things that could make me happy and feel wholesome.So I guess even if my job feels like it will be the death of me...am quite happy to cash out at the ATM at the end of the day!
All it takes as a bit of willpower (to wake up in the mornings!)and drive(because without it am just a dead-beat.)

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