Correspondence by: The Late Bloomer
of, The Late Bloomer Chronicles
Madd-about-MusicTv (MamTv), is doing it again, hosting yet another intergalactic gig.This time round at the newest, 256th Playboy Mansion ( just coz it had spare rooms!). The event dubbed “Back to the Future Rock Show: 3010”, is a 72hr- non-stop electrifying, stunt-riddled, mind-blowing event that not only features most of the international rock stars of our time but also showcases quite a number of silicone-enhanced boobs, butts, lips etcetera. Some up-and-coming rock artists such as The Wannabees, The Doormats, The Freak-Show Fanatics, the Machinist Parade, Ricky “Hickie” Blue Band Boys and the Time-Travel-Enthusiasts who have been touring with the ageless actor-turned-singer, Dr. Who, will performed their acts and are only too happy to brush shoulders with big names such as Guns and Roses, U2, Pink Floyd, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Foo Fighters , Inxs, Madonna, Kylie Minogue and Marilyn Manson.
Highlights of the Event
Bono (aint he the coolest dude ever!) and his crew are still fixated on saving the earth and have just finished yet another Save The Earth Tour, despite the discovery of two more life sustaining planets, Planet Mother Superior and Planet Virgin Springs on which all the world’s population except China has shifted to in the last millennium.
Bono was just drilling in some universal facts into my already saturated head, when a monster Electrical Storm surged our way and blew off his sunnies! Slash, who had rejoined the group Guns and Roses in 2050, was the culprit behind the commotion. He said he got carried away while fine-tuning his guitar for one of their opening acts and it does not help that his guitar looks and performs more like a vacuum cleaner these days. Recovering from the commotion, I fixed my weave as Bono retrieved his sunglasses and we joined the Red Hot Chilli Peppers on Higher Ground.
It was then that James Blunt stepped in, dressed like it was 1973, but that didn’t seem to deter the hot babe who was draped around his arm, with a t-shirt written Simone on her voluminous bust. In a recent interview by the Rolling Stone Magazine, Blunt had confessed that he had always fancied himself as the fifth member of the Beatles…What a Day Tripper!
Moving on, lots of bands are still arriving at the mansion and I made a good excuse to go out and puff some fresh air, as Bono of U2 is becoming such a pain with his earth talk, I had to scatter! Knowing that he has Vertigo (the fear of heights), I took to the roof-top!
The re-incarnation of Madonna (What else is new?)
On the rooftop I find Madonna, who is still looking very virginal and this time round she has somehow convinced some of her die-hard fans that she is the physical reincarnation of some Indian goddess. In the meantime she has generated a huge following, a handful of who are on the rooftop with her, chanting some obscure gibberish that is inertly part of her performance these days. Oddly enough some of her followers are known to literally hold Confessions on the Dance Floor! Sadly, her groupies still believe that she is still Like A Virgin down there, since she only adopts her kids from time immemorial! Fact is, the Androids still want to Do It With Madonna!
The Nutters
After getting some fresh air, I realize that I have a shiny nose(blame it on the DNA). So I have to powder my nose in the ladies... God bless the inventor of talcum powder! Although it is not the opportune time or place for an interview, I try my luck with p!nk who I find there. Just as I tap her shoulder for an introduction, she turns and barks at me, “ Leave Me Alone, don’t you see that am having Conversations with my 13 year old self?” I am left utterly flabbergasted as she continues talking to the mirror...
Anyway, as the convertible roof is being opened to let in some fresh air, I get a lucky interview with Jamiroquai. He is currently a Space Cowboy and has his own reality show titled the same that is touring the galaxy. He tells me that when he met his Cosmic Girl, it was love at first sight but later confesses that, “She laser beamed me with her cosmic eyes!”
Well, seems I need to get myself a cosmic boy…sounds kinky!
As Friday night gives in to Saturday morning I am totally spent and smashed after having 10 shots of Hot Tequilla Brown with Jamiroquai and his girl.
I stumble blindly to bed...
Disclaimer: All scenarios and characters are depicted in a fictional manner for the purposes of fantasy entertainment.Various assumptions have been made and should be overlooked for the pure enjoyment of this article.